i recently posted a blog entry and had someone – someone really really nice with really really low standards – comment that i should be on tv. well….i got to thinking…hey! there could be some options there….i COULD indeed be the star of a tv show. i have much to offer the world. lots that i could teach the general public. i could – if offered the chance – teach those near and far many of my personal talents. i could – thru the magic of tv – share with millions my special skills. i continued to mull this over and decided – before i approach network television executives – that i would put together a little list – with some descriptions- of television shows i could pull off without much work at all. i feel certain that these are different enough – and i am just talented enough – that they would be huge hits!!! so here we go…. here are my Laura’s Top Ten Television Show Hits…..
1. America’s Next Topheavy Model
i could show the world how to make even plus size clothing look tight fitting
2. Say Yes to the Mess
how to relax, let go, lower your standards.
3. Project Run-Away
tips for hiding, leaving the scene, and making yourself scarce when your family is being ridiculous and refusing to please you
4. What Not To Wear
no explanation necessary – no need to even change up the premise of this show. have you SEEN me?? got this one covered – and “fixing” my clothes issues could take the entire season!
5. So You Think You Can THINK?
how to let your children know YOU are the boss – they just need to blindly obey
6. 283 and Counting….
little twist here – no sense in counting kids – most of us stop around 11 – ha! let’s count pounds shall we? there’s something i can rack up in a jiffy!
7. Are You Smarter Than Your Spouse?
of course you are! this would just be a simple, but extremely satisfying way of proving that point to him and to the rest of the world once and for all….thus ending all speculation in your home. great show for your children to watch to learn how intelligent and all-powerful we are as mothers.
8. Deal or …..Go To Bed!
this would be a parenting show….in a perfect world there would be no room for one of my children to say ‘No” when i make a request. Deal or NO Deal??? i think not! Deal (do it my way – do what i asked – do your chores, etc) OR go to bed! could also be titled Deal or….Pack Your Bags, Deal or….I Can Add More Chores To That List, or Deal or…..You Don’t Even Want To Go There.
9. Survivor: The American Family
the original Survivor names all these exotic locations and has unrealistic challenges that seem to promote pairing up and plotting against each other – all while being scantily dressed. (haven’t seen the Survivor: Alaska season yet!) I want to watch Survivor: The American Family Edition. you know – without any unrealistic challenges presented at all – any normal family is gonna lay back – regroup – choose sides, plot against each other – and if there are teenagers involved, there will indeed be scant clothing episodes. imagine, if you will, asking your teenagers to pop outdoors and rummage up their own meal – main course to include say grubs or larva of any kind….or have them, perhaps, build a little shelter to stay in and then ask them to share. viola! instant reality show. in fact, lets not even leave the house – let’s just ask the kids to walk the dog or clean the kitchen and watch the bribing and conniving that ensues between them.
10. The Apprentice!
this is that show where donald trump (the reality show star – not the politician) fired people he thought were incompetent. let’s just think about that show…..as i examine my life and SOME of the people that surround me, i would indeed like to fire a few of them…..in fact MORE than a few depending on the day….. the cashier that takes 45 minutes to ring up my express lane basket of 5 things? you’re fired! the clothing store employee that dares suggest i might need “a bigger size in that”? you’re fired! the restaurant worker that asks when handing me my 5 pound to go order of barbecue for my family if i want a fork with that????? you’re fired!! you’re REALLY fired! i think this particular show has quite a bit of potential!
11. bonus show added by my husband….
The Great Race
leaving for church….for school….for a ballgame… any event that requires being on time??? watch what happens!! we run into church during the opening hymn with one kid brushing their hair – another running behind pulling on shoes (we can only hope they are sunday go to meeting’ shoes) – and another slapping on lip gloss. the kids roll out of the van in the school parking lot with papers flying everywhere like a mini blizzard and backpacks spewing all kinds of notebooks and pencils and snacks. tom swears the one thing missing in our vehicle is a blood pressure cuff so you could monitor your blood pressure after dropping off any kid, for anything, anytime, anywhere!
based on this list – i figure i’m a shoe in for some kind of reality tv show! but until then….subscribe to our Rethunk Junk by Laura youtube channel that has lots of videos on how to use our fabulous Rethunk Junk by Laura paint line. so while you wait for me to hit it big in hollywood, check out our current videos – more being posted weekly!!