REALLY?????

so for several years now my son matthew has been requesting a snow cone machine. (couple side notes here…. it brings great joy to my life to announce on the WORLD WIDE WEB that my 14 year old SON wants a snow cone machine….fabulously effective way to completely humiliate him – wouldn’t you say? good thing his friends have no interest whatsoever in my blog! and secondly….it is a tad bit embarrassing to say that he has wanted a snow cone machine for two years and we have not “sprung” for one until now….but anywho….)

so we bring home the aforementioned box of excitement and the family is all atwitter. =D we are planning on how fabulously refreshing the snow cones will be.
we are discussing flavors…
and we are already stressing about what we’re going to do when summer is over and they don’t sell the syrup anymore since it’s a seasonal item.

now….a NORMAL family would unbox the party-starting appliance and plug her in – drop in some ice…and let the good times roll!! ice comes shooting out of the little “ice-shooting-out-hole” – fills the cup – pour the syrup on and voila! happiness in a cup!!! but alas,….we are not even CLOSE to being a normal family. so here’s how OUR scenario plays out.

we unbox the party-starting appliance and plug her in. while trying not to drool on the machine, we drop in some ice…and let the good times roll!
um….
no.

we repeatedly push the button but nothing. we all take turns pushing the button…as if the family member before us had a learning disability and was not pushing the button correctly. “here – let ME try” is a phrase that was yelled in our kitchen approximately 327 times in a matter of about 3 minutes. finally tom – head of the home (not) – fixer of all that is broken(not) – appliance guru (not) comes to the rescue. he looks over our snow cone machine…and as we all stand around watching….announces that it is broken. wow. ok. uh….a COUPLE of us had actually already figured this much out. (how? you ask? well as we pushed the button and no ice came out – no motor started – those of us who are really gifted just assumed there was an issue) so what did my man do???? he FIXED IT!!! here….in full color photos….is how he fixed it!

here is the “right outta the box” shot…..

out of the box

here we have a shot of the tools necessary to make OURS work…. note the addition of a PAINTBRUSH???? and a plastic fork…..

necessary tools

and finally…. – the contraption in action =D

this is how you do it

at this point most families would return the machine. not us. at this point all the families who did not return the machine would have decided to “go out” for icees or slushies. not us. we need a snow cone….and we need it NOW!!!!

so as tom explains to us all….this is how you do it…..(if i could set this post to music that’s the song i would play….”this is how you do it”….remember that one? does that date me or what??) so he says – this is no big deal….the little spot on top that pushes down the thing that starts the motor is broken (sometimes he’s so technical i have a hard time understanding – ba ha ha) so – says tom – you just push the button down with this fork – and at the same time you hold the paintbrush here and push it down – and that leaves your other hand free to hold a cup! no big deal! RIGHT!! it’s worse than handling chop stix… trying to push both a paint brush and a plastic fork into two tiny holes …with equal pressure…..and only using one hand!?!? – very frustrating….and i get so hacked off because as i focus on the ninja fork/paintbrush move, i move my cup and spill any ice that slowly drizzles out. it’s CRAZY DYSFUNCTION! why can’t we just purchase a snow cone machine that works????????????? REALLY???????

dream on…..

So again – I’m going to assume this particular “issue” I’m going to address runs in the family. TOM’S side of course! After 3 short years (can you hear the sarcasm??) we have finally decided to carve out the time and finances to fix up the fixer upper house we purchased. It’s way past time to turn our house into a HOME! Click this link to see before and after pictures of what we have accomplished. Haven’t gotten Southern Living interested yet – ha! – but it’s making us very happy!

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.659128274142277.1073741841.402231406498633&type=3&uploaded=6

Well….the fabulous contractors we have working with us on this little project start rather early. In fact, they are kind enough that they drive up around 7am (yuck) and sit in their truck and wait to come in till 8ish. I’m quite certain that hour is spent chatting about how incredibly blessed they feel to be able to work with a family like ours – to be able to spend time around us – to be able to work on a house like ours…. Ha! I imagine the truth would be that between bites of sausage biscuits, they talk about how blessed WE are to have them fixing up something that most people would have set fire to long ago!

Anywho…..they started some work in the kids rooms this morning. Tiny details like WALLS. So the kids had to vacate their rooms at the UNEARTLY hour of 8:30! Oh – the abuse! This is what I found when I went into our front room. They had indeed left their rooms. But instead of fixing breakfast – or starting chores (yes I continue to live in a little dream world) or even flipping on the TV …..i found matthew (the blue blob) and Katie (the gray blob) trying to get in another hour or so of sleep. REALLY? Who DOES that? How can one sleep when one should be insanely excited that one’s room is finally being fixed/built/finished….????
matt blob

katie blob

And then I remembered my own dear spouse….and his ability to SLEEP during the most inappropriate of times. Example you ask?? Happy to oblige! May 9th 1987 pops to mind. Why? Well that’s our wedding day! I arrive early for the occasion – time to floof my hair (it was the 80’s) – add a skooch more blue eyeshadow (it was the 80’s) – button the 1,273 buttons on the back of my wedding dress (had to get help with that one) – and time to take a few deep breaths and enjoy the feeling that I was about to start the happiest time of my life. Well….literally that happy time was supposed to start at 10:00. So imagine my surprise at 9:30 when I discovered Tom was not there. Imagine my stress at 9:45 when I discovered still no Tom. Imagine my panic at 10:00 when I had no groom present. And imagine my rage at 10:15 when I was still alone. Standing in my dress with my 1,273 buttons all buttoned, with my perfectly floofed hair and 17 layers of blue eyeshadow – deep breaths long gone – I was READY TO FREAKIN GET MARRIED!

wedding

Much like my thoughts this morning….i am thinking – how in the WORLD can anyone sleep when they should be as excited as Tom should be right now? How do you SLEEP when you’re about to marry the love of your life – or get a wall??? Ha!
At about 10:17, when I was instructing one of my sisters to just “go out there and pick me someone single and handsome cuz I AM getting married today”, Tom comes careening around the corner, breathless, tux flapping in the breeze, barefoot, forgot his socks, rental shoes in one hand, and ….i am livid!!!! For about a millisecond. And then I look at his amazing blue eyes, reach up and pat down his fabulous hair, he smiles at me, and I am completely and totally in love. He is forgiven. And I don’t even need any deep breaths to enjoy the feeling that I am most certainly about to start the happiest time of my life!

on to the house……

They never cease to amaze me! My fabulous offspring – in what I’m sure is an attempt to please and dazzle me – never disappoint me with new topics to blog about.

We have established that the van is an issue in almost every way possible. But alas – it still drives – so our plan – being who we are – is to run that puppy into the ground…..translation?? I will not have a new vehicle until something happens to that dumb thing and it no longer runs. So since we can’t work on that – and we always gotta have a project going we have now moved on to the house. I have shared very little about the house…..suffice it to say we purchased a “fixer upper” about two years ago with the best of intentions…a plan to have no house payment (goal met) a plan to have neighbors who could handle a dresser in the driveway every now and then (goal met) a plan to be close to Woodstock Market (goal met) and a plan to turn this house into something fabulous! (goal not met in any way shape or form) it seems that life/business/cash flow/lack of sense etc have all gotten in the way…..so there is still MUCH to fix up! Let’s just sum up by saying that the van and the house get along very nicely with each other!

Well I get a fantastically exciting call that my sister is coming in town from KY. She has four adorable kids and so doesn’t get to come visit often and has not seen our new “abode”. She also happens to be insanely put together – very very pretty – super organized – a wonderful mom – and has an eye for decorating that I would kill for. Her house should truly be on the cover of Southern Living, House Beautiful, Cottage Chic – any of the above…..while mine is a better fit for Trash Not Treasure or Wrecks R Us. Anywho….the upside of this (besides being able to spend time with my sister!!!) is that a visitor will motivate my dear spouse. We have three days till the visit. In fact – we have less than that because we also have company coming on Monday night. So….i’m thinking – YEA! New windows! (our current windows were manufactured in 1923 and one is held together by cardboard and packing tape.) or maybe YEA! Let’s hang the light fixture in the bedroom where the electrical cord is just dangling down begging for a light. Or even YEA! A new paint job in the hallway where in an attempt to help with the home improvement projects my children have peeled the old paint off in various animal shapes and nature designs. BUT NO!!

What does he decide is top priority??? Let’s see…..we have lived here two years now…..and TODAY……TODAY is the only day on this calendar year that he can start the bathroom remodel we discussed eons ago. The one where we reconfigure both bathrooms so tom and I have more room and the kids a wee bit less and both spaces are nicer and more beauteous. WHAT???? REALLY????? Ok. Sure. In the next 48 hours lets tear out two walls, install a new tub, a new shower, move the washer and dryer downstairs, run electricity and plumbing to them, replumb the bathrooms, paint, install new flooring, replace both vanities and relocate both toilets…..just to hit the high points. I about HIT THE ROOF!! (that also needs to be repaired)

I will say that this is going to require a part two…..or three or twelve…..but thus far – the only thing I got going for me is that I DID get my man to agree to replace the windows……which – finally – ties back into how helpful my children are with blog topics…..
IMG_1103
They are standing in the construction dumpster in the driveway (now how many of you can say THAT??) and tearing apart the old windows. (cuz if you crush it up you can get so much more in the dumpster thus making it a better bargain!) and tom comes out and tells them they really do need safety glasses for a job like that! When he comes back out – this is what he finds. My children have donned affordable – economical – and ever so imaginative USELESS goggles. Yes – they have each tied a piece of Saran Wrap around their eyeballs. I cant even express the pride…… my thought is they better stuff some in their ears too as I express to my beloved – once again – my feelings about beginning this bathroom overhaul! ……… to be continued……
IMG_1104

Communication???? Part Two

husband wife

so in Part One of this post, we covered the fact that our van had some issues with the key…..after serious and ever so effective communication with my dear other half, i spent 11 months licking my van key so it would go in the ignition and then – when that no longer worked – i was instructed by my beloved spouse to just never remove the key from the ignition – so i spent every day carrying around any and all valuables since the van could not be locked. i looked like some kind of homeless pack rat. finally – since the “communication” was less that stellar – the Lord intervened….heard and answered my prayers… and the whole ignition thing bit the dust and had to be replaced. (for more details feel free to read “communication part one” if you have no life and nothing else to do!) haha
so here i am – rejoicing that the ignition column has to be totally replaced in my van thrilled that we will be heading to the repair shop and getting this issue under control!
so….in an attempt to “communicate” with my spouse, i ask what day he would like my assistance getting the van to the shop. i will – i promise reverently – drop any and every thing i am doing to help! well…..he informs me he will “keep me posted”. ok. super. how can that be anything but lovely news??? well….as luck would have it – “keep me posted” ACTUALLY means….”i never have any intention of taking the van to a reputable repair shop as i feel quite certain i can fix this myself because i am a man and all men are capable of auto mechanic repair work as it is part of our DNA makeup.” so….he does indeed attempt this repair job himself. i find myself shocked, overjoyed, and a wee bit apprehensive as i jump in the van on the day after the repair job. i place the newly acquired key in the ignition…trembling with excitement….and it goes in smoothly!!! as my anticipation builds to an almost feverish pitch, i turn this new key….and viola! the van starts! i am amazed and thrilled! i am a normal woman! well – ok – that’s stretching things a bit….but seriously!!! you have no clue how fabulous it was! those of you who have never had to lick your vehicle keys will never know the blessing of just starting your car! so i decide this happy little occasion calls for a celebration! my party of choice? a trip to walmart! (my life is one thrill ride after another – don’t even TRY to keep up!) so i get to walmart – and like every other shopper…i jump out with key in hand – and lock my van! how freeing!!!! no need to gather everything in it and carry it with me for security purposes – it’s just me and my key bopping into walmart (oh – and tom’s credit card – heehee) so i finish my shopping and head back to my dream van (the ability to start it like a normal person makes all the dents and lack of a radio and blah blah blah MUCH less noticeable!) i stick my key in the van to unlock it…. and turn it…..and…..what on earth??????
the alarm (now why on earth does THAT still work???) starts going off! those things are LOUD! and no one ever runs over to help you – or offers to call the police – all they do is look at you like “how annoying! could you get that thing turned off cause its REALLY irritating!” so i notice – gratefully – that my window is down just enough for me to wedge my heifer sized arm in and unlock the door. whew! er….well…no. that did not help. alarm is still blaring and people are still looking at me like I’m a dork. id love to be able to inform them all that i MARRIED a dork – THAT’S the problem – but i am busy trying to get the alarm to shut off as quickly as humanly possible! so…..
in an attempt to “communicate” with my spouse – i call him and yell as loud as i can to be heard over the blare of the alarm that the alarm is going off and i can’t stop it. he of course can’t hear me cause the alarm is going off and i can’t stop it. he actually has the GALL to say to me – “honey – turn off the car alarm so i can hear you”. REALLY???? REALLY????? i swear there are seriously times when i feel quite certain a jury made up of other women….anywho…
i scream kindly that i cannot turn off the alarm – which incidentally happens to be the very reason for the call…and THAT’S when he tells me. THAT’S when he chooses to share the details of the repair job. here’s what i get, as i stand in the parking lot of walmart, with my alarm going off at 12 thousand decibels and a major migraine coming on….

oh….sweetie….you didn’t take the key out did you?

well flippitydodah YES Tom! i did indeed take the key out! that was the whole point of the repair process was it not?????

no – it was not laura – the repair was so you didn’t have to lick the key. and you CAN take the key out – but you shouldn’t have locked it.

WHY… in the name of all that is right and good… NOT sweetie?

well….they key in the ignition does not actually work in the door. i had to sorta do my own thing with the repair job. the key that works the door is taped under the dashboard – but won’t work in the ignition. it’s there incase we ever need to lock the van but it won’t start the van – the key you have in your hand will start the van but doesn’t actually work correctly in the door. in fact, to be precise – the whole other ignition happens to be duct taped to the underside of the steering column because i had to have it there so the sensor would allow…..

WHAT? i interrupt….WHAT?? WHAT????? if i were a cussing woman this would be the time. the original faulty ignition is taped under my van so that….so that the key can be near the sensor and – WHY DO WE DO THINGS THIS WAY???? and he didn’t SHARE this little nugget with me earlier????
deep cleansing breath….

so….i say to him more calmly than he deserves….dear special special spouse of mine….how should i handle this situation with the alarm? as i cannot get to the correct key to stop it? because my heifer sized arm will not reach all the way down under the steering column…

well….you could cut the cord going to the alarm.

oh! brilliant! let me just whip out my bolt cutters – pop the hood of the van – and cut the exact cord running to the alarm real quick. sorry to have bothered you ! should have thought of that LONG ago!

that was not said aloud….what i opted for instead was a long withering cold silence on my end of the phone….which my other half picked up on REAL quick.

guess that’s not a very viable option, is it sweetie?

um no tom …..it’s really not.

well….then come on back to Market (Woodstock Market – where our home base is – if you haven’t checked it out yet what’s wrong with you? hahaha) and i’ll fix it for you.

perfect! love of my life. are you asking me to drive from here to there WHILE THE ALARM CONTINUES TO BLARE??????

well….yes laura – you messed things up with the keys

WHAT???? hold it right there buddy!!! i am completely done with the “in an attempt to communicate with my spouse” garbage. this is lunacy! i messed things up with the keys????????? i will be there in a moment – you will hear me LONG before you see me – and i’m NOT referring to the alarm! be thinking up your apology – and it needs to include cash, jewelry, and slave type service!!

so yes….i do indeed get in my van – alarm blasting – and drive – alarm blasting – down bells ferry and 92 – alarm blasting – till i get back to Market – alarm blasting. i especially enjoyed the stop lights. just try – if you will – to envision looking cheerful – innocent – and a bit confused even – as you sit at the light and YOUR VEHICLE is the one creating all the noise pollution. do you look straight ahead? smile and apologize? cry a little? look around like it’s someone else’s car? had i the time and a pen i would have scribbled a sign announcing “i married a dork – nuff said!” and i feel certain most people would have had compassion….but there was no time for that.

i rolled into Market – and shortly thereafter the cord to the alarm was indeed disabled. and let me just say that it is only my deep irrational love for my spouse, my incredible self control, and my immensely righteous nature that kept me from disabling something else! =D

oh – the joys of communication!!!…….

Communication??? Part One

This is PART ONE of a two part blog – there was just so much dysfunction i worried it was too overwhelming for one post. haha
van keyI know communication can be tricky. communication with a friend or loved one can be even trickier Communication in a marriage can be downright impossible. I know that the two of you who read my blog are aware that our family seems to be “vehicularly challenged”. Well for today’s purposes we are going to focus on the van…..
Seems that the 1723 honda oddssey vans (yes – im pretty sure that’s what year ours is) had some kind of issue with the ignition. Inserting the key into the ignition begins to be a problem at some point on this particular model. In an attempt to “communicate” with my spouse, I point out that not being able to put the key into the hole in the van that allows me to start the dang thing, could, indeed, become quite bothersome, to say the least. Well, being the family we are, we do absolutely nothing about this little “issue” until the key does become quite difficult to insert into the ignition. In an attempt to “communicate” with my spouse, I request a trip to the service department of several reputable repair places. He, of course, has other plans. I am now instructed to LICK the key before I put it in the ignition. Yes – you read that correctly. My dear other half has deduced that the problem might possibly be lubrication, so I am to LICK my key before trying to start the van. Oh! And turning it over and around might help too. So now I need to be in the van about 45 minutes before I need it to actually start….and I sit there….hoping no one on the face of the earth is looking as I lick and turn and lick and flip and lick and rotate our key. Well despite the fact that I am as patient as Job (just ask anyone in my family) this gets dysfunctional pretty quickly. In an attempt to “communicate” with my spouse, I tell him he is a dork and ask him to follow me to the nearest repair place. He, of course, has other plans. NOW, we are going to just always leave the key in the ignition. Never take it out. Ever. Well….ok. I realize most of you are thinking, “laura! You have snagged yourself a genious! Tom is nothing short of gifted with his problem solving skills!” and I would have to agree that tom is nothing. Bah ha ha. Let’s just consider this one little hiccup in the plan. I am 20 minus 3 plus 17 minus 4 plus 18 years old. (I’m hoping most of you will not even begin to take the time to do the math there…..) and have been driving for more than a few years. I have this nutty little ritual where I stop the vehicle, put it in park, turn the key off, and…. You guessed it…. take it out. Call me crazy…..but its true. So after trying really hard, there does come a day when I automatically go thru that little ritual and end up sitting in the Target parking lot with the van key in my hand. Oh crud. Now what???? I lick and swirl, and drool and turn and rotate and smear…..for about an hour and nope….that key ain’t going in the ignition. Not happening. So….. In an attempt to “communicate” with my spouse, I take several deep cleansing breaths and call him. “sweetheart?” I say….. “I seem to have a little problem with the van…..” “what???? You didn’t take the key out did you???? It’s such an easy fix laura! Why did you take the key out????? Great – now I have to come fix this and ……(heavy sigh on his part) Fine….i’ll be there in a bit” ok. Initially, I feel just awful. But then as I sit there waiting…..i begin to think things thru….and realize I have married a dingleberry and no other woman on the planet spent two months sucking on her van keys, and then another month leaving them in the vehicle and carrying around anything of any value since the vehicle could not be locked. No…..this was dysfunction at it’s best. Etc etc etc so by the time “my beloved” arrives to assist….i have worked myself into a little fit.
Well….as it turns out – the key cannot be licked enough to make it work this time so the whole ignition thingy on the steering column has to be replaced. In an attempt to “communicate” with my spouse, I thank him for repairing the issue a mere 11 months after it started…..and then focus on being excited that we are no longer dealing with key issues!……
Alas…..i was wrong…..
(to be continued…….)

camping? no thank you!

I am not a camper.  I have never been a camper.  I will never be a camper.   I am not even especially “outdoorsy”.  I seem to attract all bugs within a 10 mile radius.  I have decided I am particularly tasty  to mosquitoes and any other insect that bites.  I have also decided that I feel quite certain the Lord did not send me here during the pioneer era for a reason.   Initially I thought that reason was His great love for me…..but my family has corrected me and informs me that it is His great love for the pioneers.  Apparently my family is under the impression that I could possibly, occasionally, softly and in an understated manner complain or fuss just a wee bit about conditions on the trail.  Whatever.    Haha

Here’s a little summary of my last camping experience.   I will admit I believe I was sent here during the time when there was electricity for a reason!  Although I look homeless at Market when I’m working, I will have to say I am a fan of blow dryers, flat irons, heat, air conditioning, microwaves, refrigerators, hot tubs, and all things electrical that make life easier.  So I really prefer NOT to do the “roughing it” thing when camping.   I was asked to be a chaperone at a church girls camp retreat.  (whose idea of a joke was this? I know not!)  anywho….the camp was very rustic.   Each cabin had 6 bunks – (a slab of wood hanging somewhere off the wall) – and that was basically it.   Well – I found out there was electricity in one of the buildings on the property – so BAM!  I’m in business!   I show up with an 80 foot extension cord, a multi prong adapter, a mattress, a night light, two oscillating fans, and my blow dryer (just to hit the high points).  While everyone else was digging “latrine” troughs (nightmare! I will hike as long as it takes to get to the actual bathrooms on the property!!), I dug a shallow line to bury my extension cord from the main lodge thing to my cabin.   BINGO!   I am in the cabin plugging in my fans and putting my mattress on my bunk…and i turn around and notice about elevendytwelveteen girls trying to get in the cabin to room with me.    Never one to have much self esteem, I am flattered beyond belief.   Um….until I see all elevendytwelveteen sets of eyes focused on my fans.   Oh well….whatever it takes to have friends!   Last order of business was to find the ice machine on the property (these places always have one somewhere) and fill my cooler so my diet coke is nice and refreshing.   NOW…..we’re ready to camp.   this is the look I was going for – didn’t QUITE hit it – but came closer than anyone else at the campsite – THIS is camping!!!

tents_03

 

Before you make fun….let me just share this.  I have come to the conclusion that even campers do not like to camp!!!     Really!    Two honest to goodness examples……

Tom was training to be a scout leader (years ago) and they scheduled a cold weather campout.   Teaching the kids how to deal with the elements.   Well…..it was cancelled two days before.   WHY?   The forecast called for SNOW!   True story!

This past week my own dear scout who LOVES to camp – was scheduled to go on the wilderness survival campout.   Talked for weeks about trapping his own food (translation – he’s gonna have to live on the 2 granola bars I sneek into his pockets)    about starting his own fires (I got a lighter im putting down his sock)    about identifying safe roots and berries to eat (can you say “fruit snacks” in his sleeping bag?)    he had big plans!!   Well…..it was cancelled two days before.   WHY?   The wilderness survival campout could not be held due to the threat of rain in the forecast.   RAIN!  True story!

See?   don’t let em fool ya – Even campers do not like to camp!

 

 

ice storm 2014

So there really isn’t any way to truly capture how absurd the following event was without a video to accompany it…but I have decided to try anyway.

 

We had an ice storm – CNN used the words catastrophic and crippling to describe conditions – here in Atlanta on Wednesday.   But did that stop tom and I from trying to get to Market to work?   Uh….nope.    here is how the trip from the front door to the van went…..

 

There are 5 steps from our front door down to the sidewalk.   All 5 covered with ice.   Solid ice.   Tom decides to go first to warm up the van.   He slips on the first step  – so to stop his fall – he grabs onto the stair rail – which did no good as it is solid ice.   Somehow he makes it to the sidewalk – ours happens to be slanted downhill from the house to the driveway – so he yells at the top of his lungs for all of us to come look.   The entire family gathers at a window and we all watch tom stand in a position similar to that of a ballerina… and see him slide towards the van.

We all agree it was something much like this photo.

ballerina

Well he rams into the van – I mean reaches his destination… and after a few minutes comes back inside for reinforcements.   So megan and I follow.   I have a center of gravity located very near my rear end and all the grace of an elephant so I am terrified of falling.   No worries!  I grab our container of Morton Salt and follow along.   I am expecting to sprinkle the salt and watch as the ice evaporates into thin air…much like a fancy magic trick.    Well….i have decided that what they sell at home depot must not be the same formula I enjoy on my baked potato.  I knew it was bigger chunks….maybe I needed sea salt?  But this stuff was doing nothing.   In fact, as tom backed down each step chipping away at the ice with my KITCHEN SPATULA, I followed closely tossing little handfuls of salt – which did nothing but blow into his eyes and wreak havoc with his chipping methods.   At almost the same exact moment that I am asking that he be careful with my $50 Pampered Chef KITCHEN SPATULA, I hear a crack as the handle breaks off.   Really?   Not to be deterred, he continues to the SECOND STEP (no we are not making progress quickly) and clears another 2 inch square which I quickly and efficiently sprinkle with salt.   Megan is behind me cracking up and about to fall on me she is laughing so hard.   I am not seeing much humor in the whole situation, but carry on.  What else could I do?

 

So about 4 hours and 32 minutes later (but who’s counting?) we reach the van.  I am out of salt, the KITCHEN SPATULA handle is nowhere to be found, no one feels like being a ballerina anymore, and megan is still laughing like a lunatic.   Tom starts his ever so efficient chipping method with my KITCHEN SPATULA on the windshield and I am starting to think I will never get to Market.  So  I get in the van.  Boom.  Done.   I am ready to go.   The van heat will melt the ice on the windshield.  No more goofing off – let’s get this road on the street.   Well….as I watch tom still chipping, I feel a bit like I should help….but as I have already planted my center of gravity firmly in the van….i do what I can without getting out….i turn on the windshield wipers.  They – of course – are frozen in place and do not move.  So megan takes my KITCHEN SPATULA and vows to “get em loose!”.   Tom sits down in the van and I swear – before he can shut the door – megan does indeed “get em loose” – they swing up and sling ice and snow all over toms head and face and lap.  At this point I join megan in laughing my head off  – what else could I do?

So….although I would like to sell every stick of furniture and every quart of paint I own, I would recommend you wait till things thaw a bit.   BUT….after that happens….i will need every last one of you to shop as I now have to replace all of my salt and…..my KITCHEN SPATULA!!!!

Armoire

armoire close up

Antique Sheet Music Organizer

antique sheet music organizer

Awesome Bar

bar front with light back bar

This

Dresser and Mirror

dresser and mirror linen

Dresser and Mirror painted with Linen!

East Lake Bed and Bench

eastlake bed and bench

Fabulous China Cabinet

fabulous china cabinet

Fabulous china cabinet with great detail!

Four Poster Bed

four poster bed in linen

Four poster bed painted with Linen!

Church Pew Bench

front pew

Great church pew bench.

Full/Queen Headboard

fullqueen linen headboard

Full/Queen headboard painted with Linen.

Curved Front Dresser

gray mist and cotton curved front dresser

Amazing curved front dresser painted with Gray Mist and Cotton.

Hymn Book Recycled

hymn book recycled

Iron Bed

iron bed with painted posts

Iron bed with painted posts.

Kids Table and Chair Set

kids table and chair set

Kids Table

kids table!

Ombre Desk

ombre desk in gray tones

Ombre desk in the gray tones…great piece!

Peacock Feather Dresser

peacock feather dresser

Another wonderful rethunk dresser painted in Peacock Feather.

Robbins Egg Storage Piece

robins egg storage piece with dark glaze

Great storage piece painted with Robins Egg and our Dark Glaze!

Roll-less Roll Top Desk

roll-less roll top desk

Stained Top Dresser in Gray Mist

stained top dresser in gray mist with burlap glaze

Stained top dresser paint with gray mist with burlap glaze.

Vintage Octagon Table

vintage octagon table

Wonderful Dresser

wonderful dresser with barley twist sides cotton and gray mist

Dresser with barley twist sides…painted with cotton and gray mist.

Stained Top Coffee Table

stained top coffee table

Stained Top Dresser

stained top dresser in linen close up on stained top dresser

Great piece of furniture with our amazing stain top product and painted with linen.