not long ago we joined one of those stores – which shall remain nameless – where you have to buy not one…but seventy two rolls of toilet paper when you go in. so far i have not been impressed. why? you ask? let me share….. and these are in no specific order…..
first….who does the buying for these places??? i got tom a samsung galaxy tablet for father’s day cause i’m an awesome wife….well they had a decent price there….but they didn’t sell any carrying cases for it….no accessories at all in fact. BUT….they DO have tons of cases and accessories for the i-pad…which…um….oddly enough…they do NOT carry. what the? and you DO carry three different styles of trampolines but no diet coke??? i can get a 14 person hot tub or 7 pounds of gummy candy in the shape of spongebob squarepants but not my daughter’s fructis brand shampoo??
second…..why do i have to pay to shop there? kroger doesn’t make me pay to shop there. target doesn’t make me pay to shop there. there is no entrance fee to the mall….or even to walmart. why do i pay to shop here??? seems they should be thrilled i have a family of five kids who will actually use all 72 rolls of toilet paper in a week and they should welcome me with open arms…not charge me!
third….who planned “taste test days”????? on a regular schedule so that everyone knows????? with 42 different stops???? i swear there are people who plan and this is dinner for them. they come with their entire families, several generations in fact, and stop at every spot. and then there are those who take the time to savor their little taste and ask about all the ingredients and jot down notes on the nutritional value and have a little map drawn to get to the freezer case that has that specific item in it. the lines snaking thru the aisles make it impossible for those of us who are just running in for our 72 pack of t.p. to do so in a timely manner!!
fourth…why does EVERYTHING have to be huge??? even with a family of seven i can’t use 11 pounds of mayo before it spoils. we cannot finish two gallons of ketchup before feeling like its not-so-fresh. tom and i don’t need a 21 pack of eyeglasses to help us read. 2….possibly 4 would suffice. i swear the nutritional value of those vitamins will be long gone before we can swallow 12 thousand of them. but i suck in every time….right this minute i have a can of tuna the size of the tires on my van sitting in my pantry. insane!
fifth….can they not take some of the entrance fee i am forced to pay in order to shop there and spring for some shopping bags???? my only choices at checkout time???? have them toss it all in the basket willy nilly…and then go to the van and chuck it all in there to roll around on the way home. OR i can tie a safety tether to one of my children (so i can pull them to safety when they are done) and lower them into the “bin-o-useless-boxes” and let them flounder around for one of the fabulous boxes they have to offer WITH THE SIDES CUT OUT. who the heck uses those? how can those be helpful in coralling my purchases? now i just have all my stuff and a dumb useless BOX rolling around the back of the van!
lastly….what in the WORLD is the deal with the guy who checks my reciept when i leave???? what a complete and hilarious joke!!! he is so NOT reading the entire receipt….and he is so NOT looking at everything in my basket!!! and on the off chance that i do get a thorough checker..i feel this huge invasion of privacy as he paws thru my basket of items that will last till the end of the free world.