i know i tease alot about tom and his trips to walmart for gifts the night before a big holiday – or his lack of trips altogether….i may have even mentioned a couple of other little idiosynchrasies about his personality – not sure…..haha….but i gotta say – when it comes down to it…he loves me! not long ago i did a post about megan and i going to sips and strokes and painting our dragonfly pictures….well…i had so much fun i asked tom to go. the fact that he agreed is evidence that his love knows no bounds! and agreed cheerfully! and stayed cheerful as he sat on his stool in his little “one size doesn’t really fit all” apron looking around the room for any other male! he was a wee bit apprehensive about his painting,….but look how cute!!! i mean,…look how manly and butch that winged creature of the night is,,,,while i just painted a silly little owl. haha
as i have spent the last couple of days feeling warm and fuzzy and loved….i thought of another time when tom totally gave up what he wanted to do for ME. let me preface this little story with the following fact: I HATE ROLLER COASTERS!!! they are ridiculous rides of torture both physically and emotionally as you hang on for dear life, get jerked around at insane speeds, scream till your vocal chords are raw and see your life flash before your eyes before certain death occurs as one of the many scenarious you are envisioning happens….you fall out during an upside down turn….your car flies off the track….your heart stops beating due to stress and fear…or you plummet to your death as there’s no way the laws of gravity can be defied enough to pull you out of the killer descent you are in after that happy slow climb up the hill lulls you into a false sense of security. roller coasters are stupid. and i will take this feeling a step further and say that log flumes are dangerous, ferris wheels are WAY to high, those ships that swing back and forth were invented by Satan himself, any bungee type falling, jumping ride is so wrong i can’t even discuss it….and even merry go rounds can get out of control in the speed department if not watched carefully. so knowing this about me…..i could say that my man was off his rocker to take me to an amusement park…..but since this post is about his undying love we won’t go there. about the only thing redeeming about an amusement park is the cotton candy and funnel cakes – ha!
so about 25 years ago tom decides we should go to kings island in cincinati together….his first and only attempt to get me to go to one of those places. i agree after a serious and binding pinky promise ceremony that i will not have to go on any life threatening rides. (translation….my feet will never leave the ground) we get there and he is lovely all day. looks longingly at the life threatening rides, maybe lets out an inperceptible sigh of longing and keeps right on walking all day. wins me more stuffed animals than will fit in the car on the way home (cause once you veto every ride in the park what’s left? the “win-a-stuffed-animal” games!). and then – late in the day….he sees it. a ride he cannot walk by! he points it out as it’s stopped and loading up for the next go-round. well….he’s been amazing all day….and here’s what i see in my mind….
the planes are only 2 inches off the ground – how fast can they really go? he deserves at least one ride and seems to have chosen something harmless. so i agree. now after climing in our plane…i notice that there wasn’t really any cute bumblebee face on our plane…or any of the others. in fact, instead of charming butterfly type wings, our seem to be a bit….um…dare i say aerodynamic? and tom seems way too excited about what i assumed was a little kiddie ride we had jumped in together. well,, still expecting the best, i snuggle up next to my man and even casually drape my arm along the side of the “plane” preparing for our journey. seems like a waste of time and money but i do don the seat belt provided. then…off we go! first couple of times around i am happy and life is good. wind in my hair – birds eye view of nothing since birds never fly this low….i am a giver and it’s all working out. then something goes terribly awry! i look at the center contraption that our little bugs and bees are attached to and this humongous support brace shoots up into the air about 7,000 feet. i feel my butterfly lifting up….and realize at this point that it’s much more like an actual plane than i had cared to admit. in fact, the term fighter jet comes to mind. tom gleefully grabs some “controls” that have appeared from nowhere and i feel MY control slipping away. i watch in horror as the plane in front of us starts doing belly rolls and notice that we now HAVE an actual bird’s eye view as we seem to be ABOVE where even a bird feels safe. i am imobilized by terror and cannot even speak. needless to say my arm has been jerked inside the plane and i am as close to being curled up in the fetal position as one can get inside this little death trap! i no longer see “bumble bees and butterflies” on this ride….i now see it for what it truly is….and here is what i am experiencing!!! complete with absurd ascent and trailing smoke!!!
as i realize how very high and very fast we are “flying” i see tom start to push a button that says roll and know instinctively, that in order to save my life, i must take control of this situation NOW! so i whisper “no tom – please don’t”. not hearing me due to the evil cackle coming out of his own mouth….i try and speak up….”please sweetie, can we go back down?” no response again… as the wind whipping around while we are flying at the speed of sound is kinda loud. so i decide it’s now or never and somehow find a way to scream “GO LOWER AND SLOWER RIGHT THIS MINUTE OR THERE WILL NEVER AGAIN BE ANY INTIMACY IN YOUR LIFE – EVER!!!!” he looks at me in shock and i say – “that’s right buddy – lower this plane and hand over those controls right this second or you will be one lonely sad little man for the rest of your life!” looking defeated he hands me the controls and i uncurl enough to grab them. then for the rest of the ride, as everyone else flies around at absurd altitudes and rolls and dives and all kinds of stupid stuff….i lower our plane back to the two inches off the ground position and we slowly putter around the center brace as anyone with any respect for the beauty of life would- and should – do. at this point other passengers in other planes are yelling to tom “dude – pull back on the handles!” and “man! push the RED button” thinking they are helping! (tom has since pointed out that this ranks as one of his most embarrassing moments in life) i am thinking if i just had a couple of rocks i’d knock those idiots in the head till they shut up! (cause we all know how good my aim would be as i rode in terror on the ride-o-death)
as the ride comes to a close a couple of the operators come rushing over. i am assuming to make sure i am okay!! to console me and apologize for my obvious trauma, right? no….they came running over to apologize to tom that his plan was broken! “dude! so sorry yours was broken~come over here to the front of the line and you can get on next in one that works!!” i look at tom with the most ferocious look i can muster and he looks at the operator. “um….ours wasn’t broken”. awkward pause…. the operator looks at tom and then at me and then it dawns on him what must have happened and then – laughing so loud that’s all anyone at the park can hear – he walks off. it took a couple of days for me to realize how much tom must love me to have handled that day in a way that totally revolved around my needs and wishes. he’s a pretty incredible man….and i’m thrilled that he’s mine!