So previously, I have used the website to post furniture and blog stories, Well…..I have not blogged as regularly because I felt obligated to post 700 or so pieces of furniture each time I posted a blog story. New plan: I miss the blogging…..it is very therapeutic to share with the two of you who read it how nuts my husband is….how loony my children are….and very much I love them all. So….I’m gonna blog, share paint tips, before and after pics….lotsa great stuff. And a link to the spot on my Facebook page where the furniture is. Easy way to click and see it all.
So here we go……first post with the new plan.
Just say no!
Um…..so if anyone ever tries to convince you to buy a magnifying mirror in the….uh….lets say…..4x category or above…..just say no!! Recently, I have noticed that my eyesight is aging. (Makes no sense since the rest of me is still 29-ish but anywho….). Bottom line is i cain’t see good any more. So, I thought to myself…..Laura, you are WAY to young to get reading glasses……plus you don’t really read, you paint. TV? Just get a bigger screen? Ordering from a menu? Not a problem! As you can see…I am not a picky eater….I will enjoy whatever they bring….and a surprise can be fun sometimes! (Chicken stir fry? How splendid! I thought – based on the picture – I ordered turkey meatballs but bring it on!). Driving? As you may know from previous blog entries i do not drive far distances and the van can now drive itself to Woodstock Market without my assistance, So…..why the magnifying mirror? The problem is ….. eyebrows. Yes. Eyebrows. Admitting it is the first step to solving the problem,, right? Without any kind of magnification, I can clearly see that I have the equivalent of wooly worm caterpillars as eyebrows. But, alas, I cannot see clearly enough to grab hold of one of those pesky hairs to begin to reduce the population. So…..off to Ulta to purchase a magnifying mirror. I’d like to change those caterpillars to something closer in width to a McDonald’s fry. Ha! So I bring home my LIGHTED 10X magnifying mirror and plug that puppy in, grab the tweezers (and a snack……well if I don’t have a fry for comparison sake when will I know I’m done?????) and I sit down at my vanity,
Holy crud! Oh my stars! Have I truly left the house looking like this? Did I really just return from a public place of business with THIS FACE????? The phrase “ignorance is bliss” has just taken on a whole new meaning!! I am trying to compile a list of women I have interacted with in the last 12 months that deserve a letter of apology from me, (“Dear susan, I just purchased a magnifying mirror and would like to offer my heartfelt apologies for my face, If you have incurred any lasting emotional trauma please contact me and I would be happy to pay for counseling to help you forget and move on!” Something like that…..).
Issues???? Where do I begin???
Who knew we could actually park the VAN in one of my pores??? Luckily, instead of gently applying a thin layer of sheer foundation-and-moisturizer-in-one, I DO have the tools (based on my painting skills) to spackle, possibly use a little wood filler here and there, and apply a faux finish from my forehead to my boobs.
Who knew eyebrows went gray along with the rest of my head???? (Some of you may have known that but since I am just now getting the first good look at my face since 1997, I was unaware!). Problem here is that since the wooly worm hairs are…..uh…..intertwined…..delicately grasping the gray ones presents quite a challenge, So now I have GRAYING eyebrows with BALD spots where I have tried numerous unsuccessful attempts to remove the gray before giving up while I still have some semblance of an eyebrow. (Nothing like the slender fry look i dreamt of!).
And speaking of tweezing……I find that there are so many “stray” hairs on my face, that although I am not questioning my belief in the Creation….I AM wondering if perhaps I personally have a connection to a wooly mammoth or an ape somewhere in my genealogy!
And the WRINKLES!!!! Laugh lines?? NO!!! More like laugh crevices!! I am currently looking into the application of Polyresin on ones face. (See notes below)
From Wikipedia :
Polyresin dries to a durable material that is virtually unbreakable. While some materials do not lend themselves well to detail work, polyresin allows the artist to include as much decorate work as necessary to produce an attractive item. From scrollwork on candle sticks to minute details on the faces of figurines, this is an excellent medium that will hold the shape and produce crystal clear results.
So did i return my mirror? Nope. Why not? Well I can’t really go out in public anymore, I figure in many ways a “Laura-sighting” will become much like a “Bigfoot sighting”. (“What was that huge hairy thing that just slipped by us???”). And secondly….I realized in the middle of the night last night that my lighted mirror doubles as a great flashlight to get me to the fridge. Bah ha ha!!
So…..I thought I would post a pic of the “why haven’t I smashed the dumb thing?” mirror in question…..and I realized, as with most yucky things in life….there can be a way to see a wee bit of positive. So here’s the photo of my vanity and the offensive mirrôr…
As I looked at the pic, I realized one of my favorite things about the room was reflected in the bigger mirror. I really like my window treatments. So my little tip for the day is…I purchased some really pretty silk….shop carefully…I found this for only 2 bucks a yard!!! And then I topped it with….drumroll please….a canvas painting dropcloth . Yep! Those puppies are cheap and wonderful to sew with!! Three straight stitches across the top and you have attached the two materials, and sewn a ruffle and a rod pocket, Voila! Fabulous window Treatments Got any window treatments you love??? Please share!!!! I’ve still got four rooms that need something and I’d love the ideas!!!!