Last week I ran into a special family (friend and her mother and her daughter) that I had not seen in a while, They are awesome,,,,and this friend looked fabulous!!!! She has lost a bunch of weight and looks disgustingly terrific!! :). As I spent the next few days hating her and feeling insecure…I mean, being happy for her and grateful that I got to see all three of them ( the mother looks fabulous and young and the daughter is a doll!)…I thought about how hard she had worked to lose the weight and what a talent it is to have that kind of self control,
And then….daggum it…I realized the time for humility is past. I too have talents. I too am a woman of size, I mean value! I am worth something. And I decided it was time to throw caution to the wind and share those talents with the world. ( or at least the three of you that read this blog).
First…I work relatively hard….up, down, on my knees, lifting, moving, long hours, physical labor. So it is indeed a talent that I can keep my weight UP! Most lesser women would trim down in a jiffy….but not me!! I can, almost without any effort on my part at all, keep my hefty size rolling forward!!
Second….I am proud to announce that without any record keeping….any calendars….any strict scheduling, I can tell just by a wee whiff as they pass me, when my precious offspring need a shower! No time consuming or confusing dates to remember….just a sniff with my talented schnoz and I know immediately that it’s been a month since soap has been involved. Along those same lines, I have the uncanny abilty to see when the kitchen needs to be cleaned….when the bathrooms have reached critical point…when the toilet paper is out…when the laundry pile is even with the top of the washer….when the leftovers from 2011 can be tossed from the fridge….talent? You bet! As I am the only one in my family who can see these things I can only assume I have special eyesight and an above average nose,
Third…I can find things. What? What kind of talent is that?? Those of you asking that question are single. Any married woman knows that the ability to locate something is a skill men do not have. My own dear spouse can have his hand on the item in question and still need help finding it.
Fourth…I can do things on my own. Again, I am sure there are those of you asking what kind of dumb talent that is ,,,and again,,,,I have to assume you are the unmarried group. I won’t use toms name here….but lets say we are working together on some deadlines. I am efficiently finishing what is on my list while humming cheerfully and keeping my weight up…as he works on his list. I handle my list on my own. Here’s an example of something on Toms list. “Add pulls laid out for you to the gray dresser in front of you”. Here’s how this is completed,,,,
Honey? Come show me which pulls and which dresser… (Refer to talent number three!!). Honey? Where’s the screw driver? Can you grab it for me? Honey? Can you hand me the screws? Honey? Could you just help me take the drawers out of the dresser? Honey? Can you hold the drawer still while I screw these on? Good grief!!! The talent of doing something on your own is, again, a talent that seems rare among the male species!
Fifth…and last,,,,I have the amazing ability, without ever having met most of you to be incredibly grateful. To appreciate without knowing you that you would read the blog. To value, without a personal relationship, how important you are to any success I may have. To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you bless my life and the lives of my family in ways I can never repay! Thank you!!!