Road trip

I have restless leg syndrome….RLS…and it’s extremely uncomfortable. Extremely. My legs hurt and jump and jerk…sometimes it’s impossible to sleep….and sitting for a long time is out of the question. Most times…much to the embarrassment of my children…I can’t even sit thru a movie at the theater…gotta stand at the back of the room.
So……not long ago I took a road trip with my dear husband. First…let me just highlight how a trip on my OWN goes….and for arguments sake I’ll use the example of heading to my parents in bowling green ky….

Leave around 10:00….time to leisurely pack and clean up the bedroom so I come home to a pleasant room. This also allows ample time for extra personal grooming which is required for a road trip. “Normal” personal grooming wears off about half way thru a long drive…and you end up looking homeless if extra care is not taken at the front end of the trip.

Next….after cleaning up the car (who can ride for long in a messy car??) I stop for gas and a diet coke….and a box of Junior Mints. (more on those later)

Now it’s probably 10:30 and I’m getting on the interstate…serious driving starting! This ensues for about an hour and then i start getting uncomfortable so i stop in dalton at the outlet mall. Great place to walk around…move my legs…and grab something new to wear (extra bonus!)

Back in the car. I have covered 45 minutes of the 5 hour drive so it’s back on the interstate. About an hour later I am nearing Chattanooga. Wonderful place to stop for lunch and..again…exercise my legs.

Back in the car for the hard part of the trip…it’s an hour and a half to Murfreesboro…. It’s now about 2 o’clock…..if I really push I can make it to Murfreesboro by 3:30. This is where the junior mints come in handy. My legs gets jumpy and I get a bit drowsy….so I spend that hour and a half sucking the chocolate off of each of my junior mints before I chew them up…timing how long I can make one last. ( Record is 4 minutes before the minty part melts for those of you wondering…). Finally at 3:30ish I get to Murfreesboro …which has a fabulous super target, a great michaels craft store, a hobby lobby, and a mall. But of course…knowing that I have not yet reached my destination, I choose carefully and get on the road again quickly…legs feeling great…diet coke in one hand…and bag of chocolate covered peanuts in the other….

So it’s 4:30….and if I really push myself I can get to Goodletsville in an hour, Rough trip…but I can do this. In an hour the diet coke is gone….the chocolate has been sucked off each peanut and I’m at the mall in Goodletsville….after a brief “exercise session” I am back in the car. 6:15…..only 45 minutes to go till I hit bowling green.

7:00….I am in bowling green but need to stop and top off the gas tank,,,,change out of my traveling clothes…spruce my hair and makeup….and then only 15 minutes more to moms house.

Sooooo….yes…I left at 10 and got there around 7:30….my 5 hour trip took 9 and a half hours….BUT I am fresh….and cheerful…..and comfortable….and happy….

NOW…..lets throw TOM in the mix, shall we? ( actually “no….not ever again.” would be the answer to THAT question!)

First we have to leave at 6am. Why in the name of all that is holy is that even remotely necessary????. So I am flinging things in my suitcase that don’t even fit cause I can’t think straight and my eyes aren’t even open yet. I have NO time to coordinate jewelry….and heaven forbid I try and pack more than one pair of shoes. But I can handle this cause I have my Dalton outlet mall stop coming up! I’ll just make a list between home and there and fill in the packing gaps. We leave with the bedroom looking like its been hit by a mob of destructive wild boars…and I am slapping on make up and hooking my bra in the front seat of the car. ZERO “extra” personal grooming.

You know how you feel a little aprehensive getting on a roller coaster….and then you do….and then that bar comes slamming down and you hear that horrific click and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have made a serious….SERIOUS mistake but there is nothing you can do???? I close the car door at 6:05 … and over tom’s crabbing that we are already running late… I hear the doors all click as he locks them. Cripe! I am stuck! And I mean stuck. I threaten…I beg….I plead….I cry….as we drive by dalton….no new clothes and legs are crazy….and we drive past Chattanooga….no yummy lunch and legs are nuts now….and we zoom past Murfreesboro…. No hobby lobby or super target and i am feeling like permanent damage has been done to my appendages….And then we need gas. YES!! I feel like a criminal making a break for freedom. So as tom unlocks the car and turns to the gas pump, I have my hand poised on the door handle to dash into the QT and call for help. He looks away….and I open my door and….fall in a heap in the gas station parking lot since my legs are now ruined beyond repair. As I scream for freedom and junior mints and a new blouse, Tom gathers me up….squashes me back in the seat….buckles me in and drives off.

And yes….we make the trip in record time….but I am not fresh…or happy…or comfortable….or cheerful….or even wanting to be married at this point. We SOOOO need to travel separately!!!!!

2 replies
  1. Michelle Smith
    Michelle Smith says:

    This blog is priceless! Made me laugh with every word…..after our last road trip, I gave my husband a list of rules. When he strayed, I threatend to leave him at our destination. After all, we took my truck and I had the keys! LOL!!


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