the HEAT!!!

this heat/humidity is CRAZY!!!  i cannot believe how uncomfortably hot it is!!!  i am so very grateful that i was born during a period on the planet when there was AIR CONDITIONING!!!  but it can still get extremely hot…..amd sweaty…..and nuts!!  so my children and spouse have come up with some rather unconventional ways to keep cool…..let us share……

this is kinda like the david letterman show Top Ten lists…… (only we just have five – not ten – aren’t you grateful??)

dysfunctional ways the whitlow family has found to “beat the heat”….

#5….inflatable baby pools that fill with grass and bugs the first time you step into them…and are never ever clean again!  but everyone has those, you say….well…yes….but WE refuse to empty and refill ours so we now have a little side business breeding exotic mosquitoes!

#4…..homemade slip n slides….made from heavy duty trash bags pieced together and  strewn across the yard coated with vegetable oil (at this point we have already spent more than an actual daggum slip and slide would cost).  the hose spraying on the trash bags does nothing to help with the pain caused by the fact that the homemade slip n slide was “installed” over sticks, tree roots, rocks and the ocassional thorn.  ouch!

#3…..homemade popsicles (cause who could afford real popsicles but the very wealthy, right???) made from fruit juice so they are now healthy (uh….the bottle says only 10% real juice  – the rest is sugar…cause only the very wealthy can afford 100% juice, right????) and made in tupperware containers (cause – again – only the very wealthy can afford the ice cube trays or the little popsicle containers at the dollar store, right????) and then the tupperware containers must be “cracked” off of the sugary juice homemade popsicles …..a real mess!!!

#2…..i have found that all of my children got togther, (first clue there is a problem! ha!) and discussed options….and have removed the air vent covers in their rooms to allow for more air flow….what????  what on earth makes them think that AIR cannot get thru the vents????  it’s AIR!!!!!!  bad idea, huh?  well….it gets worse….because now they sneak into each other’s rooms and “block” their siblings vents (THAT’S  where all the towels in the house have gone!!!) to increase their own air flow!!  our own little middle east crisis going on!

#1 would have to be tom’s suggestion on our honeymoon…and before you go jumping to conclusions let me just tell you the story real quick…..the first night on our honeymoon in florida (think intense heat and RIDICULOUS humidity!!) the air conditioning in the condo goes out.  cannot be fixed till morning.  how the heck are we supposed to sleep?  (and i know what you’re thinking…wait laura…it’s your honeymoon….should you even BE sleeping?  hahaha) anywho….tom has a plan.  he suggests that we take the sheets off the bed….put them in the tub and run cool water on them and then wrap up in the refreshing cool sheets.  being newly married i believed my man knew everything (THAT has long since passed – tee hee).  so i agree.   whew!  what a relief!  what a comfortable and fabulous feeling.  wrapped in the cool sheets, laying in bed finally resting from the activities of the day – tee hee   ….wait…..uh…..this “refreshing” feeling lasted about 3 minutes.  then the sheets started – of course – HEATING UP!  we are now wrapped up in simmering sheets like a couple of steaming burritos.  i have rarely been as uncomfortable!!!

so….as you can see… we need the following…..money for a real swimming pool….money for a real slip and slide…..money for real popsicles….money for new air vent covers…and money for a Do-Over Honeymoon.   i’d say quite a few of you need to be buying some furniture!!!

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