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The JOYS??? of a Pedicure….

So we’re traveling to Texas tomorrow. We’re meeting with some new retailers….doing some demo’s…..looking for new stores. I’m so excited….and a little stressed. I can’t lose 150 pounds by tomorrow…..so I decided I would get my toes done….get me a pedicure. Not that anyone will be looking at my toes this week…but it’s gonna be 90 degrees in Texas and I’ll be wearing sandals….so I thought it would be a fabulous self esteem boost.
Um.
Not
So
Much
I’m just gonna be honest here and say that it’s been two years since I had a pedicure. Why would I? I never go anywhere but work and I try to be frugal to please my spouse….so yes – it had been a while. But I was completely unprepared for the “ordeal” ahead.
In a nutshell….it took an entire CREW of charming little ladies, all chattering and pointing and discussing…. and more than a few power tools – I feel quite certain I have seen some of these exact tools on construction sites…to get my feet back in business.
They started with the little foot soak deal. After the usual 5-10 minutes the sweet lady comes over and pulls one foot out. Looks at me like she’s never seen a foot – says, “lets just give that a few more minutes, shall we?” pats it and sticks it back in the water and walks away. So after 20 minutes more, she comes back – this time with reinforcements. They talk and point and discuss and look at me with pity. Then they roll up their sleeves and jump in. One has basically a safety knife and the other has a cheese grater (probably not actually but it looked like one). It looks as if this is not going to be fun….so at this point I ask if they have an option for general anesthesia, ha! They tackle what might have been a wee dry spot or two on my heels. When the pile of slightly dry skin is level with the chair I am sitting in they sweep up ( I swear I heard the word leaf blower- which I chose to ignore) ) and leave. They go on break! (or quit, not really sure which) In their defense I am sure they were exhausted. So crew number two heads my way. This is when they usually ask if you’d like a manicure too. One of them picked up my hand….looked at it….put it right back down….patted it softly and never even asked if I was interested in a manicure. (In her defense, their store was closing in a couple of hours and she probably needed to get home- anywho) I told them I was thinking French pedicure and I swear I saw eye rolling. These two did a fabulous massage- stopping about 12 times to tell me my skin was dry. I imagine they saw all chance at any profit going down the drain as my legs and feet drank about a gallon of their special massage oil. (I’m sure they felt much like a buffet owner feels when our family arrives – “there goes the profit for the week!”)
Then on to the polish job. It is my fault if my feet are ticklish? Shouldn’t they – as professionals – be able to predict when they are going to do something to tickle me and make me jump? Should they really seem so irritated as they start the French pedicure for the fifth time? I think not.
Bottom line? Two hours and twenty three minutes after I arrived for my 30 minute pedicure they finish the job and I am free to go. I go straight home….nowhere else to go since I am now broke based on the guilt driven tipping…but my feet have never looked better! ( I should add that Tom asked why they left white stuff on the end of my nails, and then asked why I didn’t get a manicure too. He has been kicked with my lovely newly pedicured feet! =D)

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