the search…..

i rarely leave home.  i just don’t go anywhere very often.  other than target!  ha!  i mean i rarely LEAVE home…on a trip….so it’s been fun and crazy that in the last couple of weeks i have gone on vacation with my family and then just recently went to KY to my mom and dad’s house.  i am the oldest of five kids and we have ended up scattered all over the place, but we try and get together when one of us turns 40.  well #3 in the lineup turned 40 in MAY and has been in denial till recently but finally decided that we might as well have a party so we all met at mom and dads.  just us girls and mom.  it was WONDERFUL!!!  we laughed and ate and shopped and crafted and had a blast.  now…i will admit that i was a bit apprehensive about the trip.  all my sisters and my mother are about a size 2 (i am not) and gorgeous (i am not) and fashionable (i am not) and so i was a bit stressed.  so i decided that since i had no time to lose 700 pounds…have botox and a complete makeover and sign up for the tv show “what not to wear”….i would try and control one area that needed help that i thought i could handle.  so  i left early on my trip with the goal of purchasing……a new bra!   i believe my last purchase in this particular area was right around the time emma was born….and she’s six years old now.  gravity has not been kind.  even WITH my brassier on, my “ladies” are right above my knees!  haha   so i head to the store and start trying things on.   30 minutes later i decide i am correct in assuming that i am size “freak-of-nature”!!!  but with the perky competition i am about to face i decide to throw caution to the wind and request a ‘personal fitting’.   oh my.   sales woman was LOVELY.  asked me to be patient as she supressed her gag reflex – no – ha!  she asked me to be patient as she measured….filled in the little chart and announced that my size is not made in the continental usa.  no – ha!  she said (bless her heart) that she was thinking she had made a mistake as i did not look as big to her as the size she came up with would indicate.  so we started “guessing”.  i tried on 5,000 bras.  i felt like goldilocks in the three bears….this one’s too big – this one’s to little – this one’s too hot – haha…..sweet saleswoman finally said to me….”well…this is certainly a fun little challenge, isn’t it sweetie?”    um….NO – it is NOT fun….nor is it a LITTLE challenge.  it is a big ole stupid crazy demoralizing mess.   right as i decide i will attend the “girl party” with my stunning family going commando-on-top  (what do you call going bra-less?)….i try one that seems to be semi comfortable…..i look in the mirror and realize that thanks to this bra i am now defying gravity in a pretty impressive manner….i have FOUND her!  i still have many appearance issues to deal with, but my boobies are now trapped, lifted, supported, bound, and contolled.  i leave the dressing room gently cradling the one bra on earth that kinda works for me cheerfully humming josh groban’s “you raise me up”. bah ha ha  the girl trip was fabulous!  and the unexpected plus to this purchase is that now that i am home, i am happy to announce that i no longer have to scoot out of the way or kneel on any part of my anatomy as i paint!

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