we got issues!

if you have ever been here to shop…..read the blog….or even – perhaps – talked to someone who knows me, you know that ….we got issues!  ours does not seem to be a normal existence in so many areas of life!   no time to explain ALL the areas we are nutso in…..so i will just start with this one…..


some of you may remember the key fiasco when tom bought his Lexus – little refresher, you ask?  of course…..here are links to part one and part two of the key story for those of you who have WAY too much time on your hands!!  ha!



moving on to more dysfunction…..last week we are driving along and my kids start reminiscing about memories from our past (well now how redundant and unnecessary and extra and unneeded (get it?) was THAT?  of COURSE you reminisce about memories and of course those would indeed be from your past, correct??   we spend a few brief moments on family vacations….love shared…..bonds built….and then here is what i hear.   “you know what guys?”  what?  “our van is kinda dumb, huh”  well, duh!  why are you asking?   “well we were talking about memories and i just rememberd that time we went thru the car wash”  and they all start giggling hysterically.

two things wrong with this……first – they are laughing about a car wash – means that something must have gone awry as car washes are not – as a general rule – extrememly funny things.    second – “that time we went thru the car wash????”  how often do we wash the van????  they remember the ONE time?????

conversation continues….and they are all joining in and adding special thoughts and reflections….  =D    oh yea!  remember how crazy?  the van window wouldn’t shut in the back and mom didn’t remember till we were IN the car wash.  remember how soap and bubbles were shooting into the van all over the place?  yea!  and remember how we were all getting wet?  and remember how mom was freaking and yelling???  remember when she yelled for emma to take off her shirt so we could shove it in the opening and soak up the water?    whew!~     good times!

what the????

in keeping with the car wash theme…..let me share (again) the time i went thru a car wash in my beloved truck. (now deceased)  and had the attendants start waving and yelling at me.   thinking they were being chauvenistic and assumed i could not manuever my big ole truck onto the little car wash tracks i continued on.  more waving and yelling….and i am now quite indignant.  i continue on – confident that i can do this!  yet more yelling…and so i roll down my window and say – it’s OK – i can DO this!!!  the response???  um – no ma’am – you CAN”T!   don’t tell ME what i can and can’t do crosses my mind but instead i reply – um – yes sir – i CAN!  the reponse???  um – NOT WITH THAT LOAD OF FURNITURE IN THE OPEN BACK OF YOUR PICKUP TRUCK!  oh.  well.  if you want to look at it THAT way.  uh, yea.

oops.  =P

last example that should prove our little clan should probly not even OWN vehicles???  my beloved 18 year is now driving.  here is the result of her last foray out into the world.



when calmly asking about how something like this happens when one is driving along safely and slowly obeying all the laws known to man her answer was…..”well, mom….those white poles at the end of the gas pumps are really low and really hard to see.”  i find myself having an instant of anger before doing that thing that all good moms do where we say “as long as you’re okay sweetheart…..it doesn’t even matter that you have smashed in the side of my only vehicle.   as long as you’re safe and sound i don’t care that my van is wrecked to smitherines.   your safety is all that matters – not my mode of transportation – oh no – not THAT!…..just YOU!”

actually….she IS all that matters….    =D




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