so i was working with a friend today and we grabbed some lunch….we went to a barbecue place and i foolishly mentioned that i had never had Brunswick Stew. well i was looked at like i had never lived and then given a sample. i must say it was fabulous! and my friend says….”so good it’ll make you wanna slap yer mama, huh?” um…..no. i can’t think of many things that would make me want to slap my mother….but that doesn’t even make any sense! if it’s delicious…why would i want to SLAP my mother? i would think calling her to tell her thank you for all the years she cooked wonderful meals would be more appropriate than a slap….but there’s no way to make that a very catchy phrase. the rest of the day i kept thinking about some of the dumb things we say….. examples?
i slept like a baby. okay….again…this makes no sense. i remember being an exhausted new mother. if someone said “hey there laura – hope you sleep like a baby tonight!” i would have wanted to kick them! babies wake up every few hours crying and must be fed. that’s no way to sleep. how about “hey laura – hope you sleep like a teenager who knows she has morning chores!” now THERE’S someone who’s getting some rest!!
well he’s deader than a doornail. uh….first of all unless it’s a bug or something that seems kinda insensitive, don’t you think??? secondly….is a doornail ever alive? how could it pass away? who thought this was a super analogy and how the heck did it catch on??
man – he works like a dog! okay….i do NOT want to work with someone who works like a dog! although dogs can be a joyous and wondrous addition to ones family (i just said that for all the dog lovers out there – bah ha ha) only dogs i ever see working are the sled dogs in far away chilly locations. dogs around here? napping!! sleeping!! goofing off chasing cats!! disobeying and chewing up all your beloved belongings. so lazy they won’t go outside to “do their business”. seems they get exhausted just panting. better plan? man – he works like an ant. yes – laugh if you will…but do you ever see an ant lounging around? nope! always on the move – usually carrying something 10 times their size and weight – building and tunneling and digging – MUCH harder worker than a dog!
as easy as taking candy from a baby! hello???? have you ever tried that????? need i say more??????
i’m happy as a clam! what? how do you tell if a clam is happy or sad? do they even have faces? i think not. no smiles or frowns…no way to really measure any emotion they may be feeling…and quite frankly they seem to look rather indifferent to me….. in our house it would be “i’m happy as daddy on payday!”
whoa! it’s raining cats and dogs! really? has that EVER happened??? i seriously would like to know how something like that catches on in the world. no matter how hard it is raining i would never look around and envision felines and canines dropping from the sky! better choice? oh something like “whoa! it’s raining like niagra falls!”
last one…. someone loses something and then says – dang – it was in the very last place i looked! not really a “saying” but we use it at our house all the time and i think it’s incredibly dumb. who is going to FIND the lost item and then continue looking???? don’t we all stop looking when we find it?
so let’s try some that make sense…shall we? come shop this week since i have wonderful prices and a penny saved is a penny earned….you’ll be as smart as an owl (i realize that’s kinda on the edge of not making sense…but owls are cool so i’m gonna let it go….) you’ll have a blast – it’ll be as fun as a barrel of monkeys (what the????) i give up. most sayings are just silly. come shop – get great furniture at great prices….and that’s all she wrote. =D