Making Friends in Millen

So….we have discovered that we already have a group of friends in Millen.   A close knit group that has  – well – adopted us.  (Read: taken over our chimney and our trees and our rooftops and our…well….you get the idea).   There are about 30 or so black vultures that are fabulously comfortable living on our property.  As much as I am anxious to make friends in our new city, I was hoping to initially invest my time and energy in the “human” sort.   These birds can get up to 2 ½ feet long with a wing span of over 5 feet.  I’m not much taller than that myself!!

This is a flock cheerfully snacking on “a horse carcass”.  WHAT???

I am not a hunter.   I am not a trapper.  I am not a camper.  I am not even what you would call an “outdoorsy” sort of girl.  But I did think that maybe scaring these less than appreciated guests with a tiny little safe soft legal friendly like BB gun could help those of us who do not speak fluent “bird” get the message across that they could find other trees.  I mentioned this little plan to a REAL friend we have met in Millen and he was kind enough to let us know that harming a vulture comes with a $10,000 fine.   Let me spell that out so no one thinks there was a typo.  TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR fine.  PER BIRD!  ok.  Not that I understand….but I am a rule follower so I decided to look for other options.   These were the suggestions I found on google….for real!!!

1.  How does one “obstruct” 38 acres of trees and rooftops????  I need some additional information here….

2.  Move food sources.   Ok – is this a joke?   So I look up what do vultures eat and in the ever so helpful article entitled “20 fun facts about vultures” (I kid you not)

It says they eat carrion almost exclusively.   So – just to be sure – I look up carrion.  yes.   It is dead and rotting flesh of another animal.   I’m pretty sure of a couple of things here….1.  I’m not canvasing the area daily looking for dead animals…and 2.  I’m not touching any that I accidentally come into contact with – soon to #3

3.  Now here’s a winner….cover your property with shimmering foil.  So disguise my property as a big huge Jiffy Pop???

4.  Brightly colored scary-eye balloons.   Not sure I know right off hand where to purchase those…and I’d almost rather be a ginormous Jiffy Pop than what I envision things looking like with scary eye balloons – wait – not just scary eye balloons – BRIGHTLY COLORED scary eye balloons (vultures don’t care about the pastel colored ones – just the bright ones)

5.  Harass them with pyrotechnics.   So the way I’m supposed to make friends in my new city is to have a nightly fireworks show?


There has to be a better way…..


Laura Whitlow

4 replies
  1. Kayla
    Kayla says:

    hahahaha! I’m a Millen transplant myself, and the vultures aren’t the only mongrels you’ll run into. My favorites, so far, are the armadillos and wild hogs. Welcome to the Wild West in the Southeast! It’s truly an adventure! =D

    • Laura Whitlow
      Laura Whitlow says:

      armadillos – I think I can handle that since I’ve never seen an armadillo alive -only squashed on the road – but the wild hogs – whoa – that’s not in my comfort zone at all – maybe I can get our ginormous flock of vultures to eat those. hahaha. thanks for the comment – made me smile!

  2. Lori Bronson
    Lori Bronson says:

    What an adventure you are on! I knew it would be an adventure for you but it NEVER entered my mind that vultures would be involved. We had a small flock that loved a dead tree in our yard when we lived in Woodstock, they really creeped me out. Maybe they followed my favorite paint family?🤦🏻‍♀️😂

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